Negative: They are always complaining about the smallest things. They love to gossip about other people. They focus on the negatives in life, which in turn makes us feel pessimistic. Manipulative: They are political in all their dealings. They seem to use everyone and everything for their own advantage. They are sweet talkers, but always have an agenda. Irresponsible: They do not take responsibility for their actions. They pass on many of their responsibilities to us without taking stock of how it affects us. They do not seem grateful despite repeated help from us.

Self-centred and insensitive: They tend to make any situation revolve around them when it does not. They are blunt in their dealings. They are harsh in their speech and behaviour to the extent of making others feel insulted and humiliated.

They are emotionally abusive.

Emotionally over-dependent: They don’t want to be toxic and are generally good people. They are dependent on us to help them in most situations without their own independent thought. They use us as a problem-solving machine; they dump all their problems on us. Overly positive They are over-friendly. They are over-affectionate, e.g., parents who do everything for their children from laundry to tucking them in at night, sometimes even when they grow up. They are over-concerned, e.g., parents who constantly check where their kids are without giving them space to explore. They are over-involved, e.g., a partner who does not keep a healthy boundary between them and their loved one.

Rigid Highly opinionated without the ability to change. Not flexible in their thought process to the extent of being fanatical, i.e., it is my way or the highway. There is no possibility of dialogue with them—they tend to be the ‘monologue guys’—we have to agree with everything they believe in otherwise they get upset, withdraw or disconnect. Unrealistic expectations They impose their own ideals on us without caring about what we would like to do. They want what they want—the way they want it, where they want it, when they want it. Blame game They make a mistake but do not take responsibility. They look for a situation, reason or person to pass the buck to.

They do not regret what they do or have any remorse.