Set your boundaries

Exercise:

Reflect on your interactions with people this week. Have any of them been toxic? Could you improve any of those dealings by setting boundaries? For example: ‘I spent too much time helping Josh with his problems; in one week I spoke to him for a total of six hours. Although I really want to help, I need to reduce the amount of time I am spending dealing with other people’s issues as it is affecting my mental well-being. I think the maximum time I should spend on this sort of interaction is two hours per week.’

Take charge of your emotions

The hardest word to speak out, from the English dictionary, is ‘no’. The human condition is such that we want to help other people and please the

a series of small studies found that many people would rather commit unethical acts, such as telling a white lie even when they know it is wrong, than say no to someone.2 Dr Emily Anhalt, a clinical psychologist, says that that is the reason why many struggle with lies in childhood. As children, they may have not learnt to speak up for themselves. She writes that people want to help others but in the process, they may forget that their ability to accommodate is not endless. Saying no in certain situations may be hurtful to our ego because it could be perceived as incompetence by the other party

Increase your association with positive people:

Exercise: Identify three people in your life who you generally have positive and uplifting interactions with. Now that you have identified these people, plan ways in which you can spend more time with them. For example: Meet for lunch or dinner once a week, exercise together, speak on the phone, do an activity or course together.

Exercise: Every Monday, write down your top three priorities for that week. Throughout the next seven days, try to keep track of how much time you are giving to fulfilling these priorities. At the end of the week, tally the number of hours you spent on each priority

Increase your inner strength:

Exercise: It is important to set aside some time every day for self-reflection and spirituality. Identify an activity that draws you into that sacred space within the heart and makes you feel deeply connected. Once you have identified it, practise it consistently at the same time daily and note the effect it has on you. For example: ‘I am going to practise positive affirmations for fifteen minutes every morning at 9 a.m.’